Dalaw: Unbiased Movie Review

Unless you’re a Star Cinema fanatic or have extremely poor taste in movies, I am pleading about to convince you not to watch Kris Aquino’s latest film, Dalaw. Let me start by saying that the entire movie looked cheaply made, based from a predictable storyline played by actors who where either too stiff or too engrossed with their role to the point of exaggeration. Sure, most of the Metro Manila Film Festival entries were made in the similar or lesser fashion but this is a different story since this is Kris Aquino. The Kris Aquino.

Where in the world could you find a former president’s daughter and now the current president’s sister starring in a horror film featuring a curse-reckoned family, a desolate ex-lover who committed suicide who turned out to be the one haunting the family, and a cataract-begotten elderly housekeeper with a third-eye. Oh, and who could forget the mud covered monster whose make up was poorly executed? This my folks is called a spoiler. 2 syllables. Spoi-ler.

No wonder the Filipinos never get over their superstitious beliefs. How many times have you been told not to go out and play because a mananagal will devour your insides or a tikbalang would kidnap you and take you to his kingdom inside a tree? If you still haven’t been told about those two, then something similar must have been constructed, like an evil violet gay dinosaur tormenting the children with his “I love you, You love me” song.

I also did a little research on what other people thought about the movie just to check if I’m being too mean. Guess what? I just confirmed it. You know how these media men and public relation people hype up the movie with their TV commercials showing people how be-dazzled they were with the story, how spectacular the actors were, and other stuff like that. DON’T YOU BELIEVE THEM.

The movie still gave me a thrill. I still had to occasionally squint my eyes a little or gobble up on my popcorn once the scary music starts so as not to see the whole thing – even if the scene wasn’t really that scary. There were even times that I had to control my giggles when Kris had to belt out her monotonous scream and put on her game face which looked like this every time.

Amazing huh?

Aside from those mentioned above, the movie was okay, not good, but it’s still looked like the less worse choice compared to the others.

And no, we won’t see Kris like this.

Shake, Rattle, and Roll the nth, you’re next.