Vote for me! I greeted you during your graduation, fiesta, and last Christmas

It was the fiesta of our barangay yesterday. I wasn’t really aware of it until I got home hearing various renditions of Angeline Quinto’s songs which alternate with some of the most widely abused choices in the karaoke. Sometimes I wonder why karaokes were even invented. I mean, if you wanted to sing along, you can always sing without the microphone. Well, I believe Filipinos have grown fixated on this arguably pointless practice of disturbing the whole neighborhood with their beautiful voices, self proclaimed, or not.

Then again, I find karaokes more tolerable than these:

Ano to panahon na ng kampanya?

Ohh. Some people wanted to extend their greetings this fiesta. Like their greetings would really matter. The truth is, these greetings would actually do nothing more than raise visibility for themselves to sustain their political careers. If they’d tell that their sole intention with this abomination is to “greet” the people, I think they’d deserve a glorious slapping.

Since I dream of being a politician later on, I took the initiative of creating my own tarpaulin in advance.

Here are some guidelines in creating the perfect greeting tarp to bolster one's political career:

•    The name of the person who will greet must be bigger than the greeting itself
• There must be a picture of your most innocent and nicest self. Something that would be worth placing beside the words “Happy Fiesta!”
• There must be a personalized political tagline included somewhere on the tarp
• A logo of your party must be placed in either the upper left or right corner
• You must wear a plain colored polo shirt. It must be a polo shirt.
• It must include names of your political allies
• It must be hung in a prominent place where everyone can see that you “greeted” them on their fiesta
• It must not contain any date so that it may be reused every year for as long as you plan to run for another term